Scalpy scalp

Because Philogynist has the finest picture of a surviving old guy who was scalped by a warrior, I'm asking everyone to go there and observe and wonder.

Baked Beans & Coke

398 mL of baked beans in tomato sauce are to my right, and 355 mL of carbonated water, sugar/glucose-fructose, caramel colour, phosphoric acid, natural flavours, and caffeine are to my left.

I'm going to ensure that 753 mL of these combined items are in me in a few minutes.

I do not feel very inspired today so I can't really think of anything important to write about. Hope that sits well with you. Hope you can handle that. Hope you're alright with all of this. Hope this isn't too much of an imposition on you.

Mine, all mine.

I left my work today and went down my elevator that I made and walked out through my lobby onto my sidewalk which I constructed, crossed my road which I built, entered my car and drove out along my roads through my city and picked up my wife and my mother-in-law and drove and passed through my traffic jam which was a good one and drove past my highway which was full of my vehicles. Then as I pulled into my side-road, my policeman let me through because I've blocked my main road to my traffic because of my festivals and then I went through my parking garage door, parked in my underground lot which I built, went up my elevator, entered my condominium, played with my dog, made my family dinner which was my rice and my curry and my chickpeas and went for a walk with my dog onto my grass and then later I got my hair cut at my haircutter and sat in my haircutter chair and discussed my topics.

We've got one already, thank you.

I have used a simple and unassailable position with telemarketers for the last several years. When they phone me, and ask if I am Mungo, etc... I ask who is calling. When they begin their solicitation, I interrupt and state firmly, 'I'm sorry, we do not accept telephone solicitations on this line'. I have only once had someone try to argue with me that I should accept them. Most have nothing to say to that and hang up apologetically. I try to be respectful, no-one loves being a telemarketer I'm sure.

Yesterday I got a call and was feeling a bit talkative. Debbie Smith from Alliance, calling on behalf of Bell Canada called. It went a bit like this:

Telemarketer: Hello, may I speak with [Mungo]?
Mungo: May I ask who's calling please?
Telemarketer: Uhh, this is Debbie Smith calling from Alliance.
Mungo: Calling from where please?
Telemarketer: Alliance.
Mungo: Let me just write this down. This is Debbie?
Telemarketer: Yes. That's right.
Mungo: With an 'h'?
Telemarketer: Yes, Smith is with an 'h'.
Mungo: No, Debbie I meant. Is the 'h' after the 'e' or after the 'd'?
Telemarketer: Umm. I'm calling from Alliance, sir.
Mungo: I'm just writing this all down on that yellow paper I was talking about with you earlier, never figured it would be yellow after all. [discordant pause] Where's that?
Telemarketer: We're in London sir.
Mungo: I've never been to Alliance. What's it like?
Telemarketer: Oh, it's nice here.
Mungo: What about London?
Telemarketer: Pardon me?
Mungo: You mentioned Alliance is nice, I've never been. I've been to London though. You like it there?
Telemarketer: Yes, it's nice. [really uncomfortable silence]
Mungo: Uhm... so what are you calling about Debbie? I haven't been to Alliance.
Telemarketer: Yes, I'm calling from Alliance on behalf of Bell Canada.
Mungo: How's that?
Telemarketer: Sorry sir?
Mungo: You mentioned on behalf of Bell - we already have one thank you.
Telemarketer: I'm calling on behalf of Bell.
Mungo: We've got one, got it last month. It's quite nice really. [thoughtful pause] Where's Bell?
Telemarketer: They're all over the country, sir.
Mungo: Never been there myself. [uncomfortable silence]. Ever been there yourself?
Telemarketer: Thank you very much for your time today sir.
Mungo: Not at all, it's been really nice chatting with you today, will you be staying in Bell for a while?
Telemarketer: Thank you sir. [click]

Google Book Search

I was working at Extend Media in Toronto as a developer when a guy I worked with told me about Google.com. I remember spending some time thinking about the Goooooogle search results snippet at the bottom of the page, and not much else.

I've been thinking about their project to digitize all books in to a searchable catalogue. Right now, only 5% of all books are in print. But imagine if all of Stanford Library and comparable collections around the world were digitized. Amazing.

It would be a catalyst to transforming the research world, the scientific world, and all of humankind. Unlike http://mungobah.blogspot.com.

Good Camping, Good good good good good.

The three of us returned tired and triumphant from our backcountry camping trip and have plans to do nothing at all until we return to work on Monday.

Good food, bad sleep, good fire, bad hellhole, good site, good chipmunk guard, good water, good food, good sun, good stars, good company, good books, good canoeing. Good good good good good.

Memories of the Wonko Web

"And somewhere on this good boffo stretch of coastline lay the house of this inconsolable man, a man whom many regarded as being insane. But this was only, as he would tell people, because he was. One of the many many reasons why people thought him insane was because of the peculiarity of his house which, even in a land where most people's houses were peculiar in one way or another, was quite extreme in it's peculiarness. His house was called The Outside of the Asylum. His name was simply John Watson, though he preferred to be called - and some of his friends had now reluctantly agreed to this - Wonko the Sane. In his house were a number of strange things, including a grey glass bowl with eight words engraved upon it. We can talk of him much later on - this is just an interlude to watch the sun go down and to say that he was there watching it... He had lost everything he cared for, and was now simply waiting for the end of the world - little realizing that it had already been and gone."

Oh it has been such a long time.