Quick - do this:
- Put a 12 pound turkey, a box of Paxo stuffing, an orange into your shopping cart and pay the nice lady.
- Put together on your kitchen counter pepper, salt (coarse, non-iodized), 1/2 cup of cold butter, sliced into flat squares, some olive oil or canola oil.
- Put your stove on maximum, and put some water into a pot. Boil it and take it off the head, and dump in the Paxo.
- Put the orange under a knife and slice it up into chunks, discarding the peel.
- Put this into the stuffing.
- Put the stuffing into the body cavity of the Turkey.
- Put the butter slices under the breast skin.
- Put coarse salt and pepper and olive oil all over the body.
- Put your oven on to 325 degrees fahrenheit - wait until it is pre-heated.
- Put a cup of water into a foil container and put this on the lowest oven rack.
- Put the turkey now onto the middle oven rack.
- Put the door into the closed position.
- Put yourself down on the sofa for 3 1/2 hours.
- Put the turkey on to the counter for 20 minutes.
- Put a knife to the turkey until the turkey is rendered into little bite-sized pieces.
Nah. Just kidding. Don't do any of that.