With neighbours barbecuing to my left and neighbours barbecuing to my right on Saturday, the pressure on me began to mount.
I just couldn't take it any more.
I stopped acting weak and unmanly and marched out of the sun and into the kitchen.
I gathered hotdogs, sausages, a green pepper, spices, buns, plates and implements.
I took the cover off of my new barbecue (new last year), and did not find a birds-nest in it.
Or a raccoon for that matter.
With manly purpose I wheeled it down the path and onto the patio, turned the gas on, rotated the switches and pressed the piezo-electric starter button.
The barbecue immediately flared to life.
I vigorously brushed off the grease and carbon that had accumulated late last year.
Within minutes was barbecuing more hotdogs and more sausages than both my neighbours were cooking combined.
And on top of that I got the side-burner flaming, and put together a concoction that I later introduced to Spring as Mungo's Good Ol' Home Style Cajun Green Pepper Potatoes into a frying pan - spices and bits and bites.
I'm ready for the summer.
Bring on the meat, bring on the steaks, the ribs, the chicken breasts and legs and tenders, bring on the chops, the flank steaks, bring on the potatoes and onions and peppers and you know what?
Bring on a whole goat, a whole side of beef, an ox, an ostrich if you'd like.
Just bring it on.