Saturday, March 11, 2006

Things I've Done For Money.

I built fences one summer but it really sucked. It was always hot, the guys I worked with were high all of the time and the boss was drunk all of the time. I got the job as a result of a foray at the youth unemployment center. I got paid minimum wage and left after a week.

My first paying job was stuffing envelopes with direct mail for my Mum's company. I think my sister and I got paid per envelope. That was fun. No benefits but the hours were good.

I had a job working at a grocery store called 'The Grocery'. That was a lot of fun. Once I drank a yoghurt drink without paying for it. I still feel bad about that. It tasted nice.

I worked at Pier One in Grade 10. After the boss we all liked was fired, I resented the new boss and I didn't stock shelves fast enough because I resented her. I was 15. She called me in to her office one afternoon and asked me to sign a document. I did. Only then did she inform me that I'd quit - having signed the document. I was shocked. I didn't tell my parents because I was confused.

I was hired as the head of the project mangement team at a company. And then they told me I was to be the operations manager (the day I came on board). Well, that didn't work out. Stupid executives and their management style.

When I was 7 or 8 my brother and I set up a table and chair on the front lawn and sold comic books that we'd accumulated - my Gran sent us montly bundles of English comics. Mike, a friend of mine, wanted to buy some comics. He said he had only dollar bills, and asked if he could get some change once he paid. Change was a concept I was not familiar with, and I grew suspicious of his motives. I thought if I gave him change, I was effectively paying him to buy something from me. He left, disgusted. My brother arrived. I explained to him what had transpired. He was angry and disgusted with me. But hey, could you really expect a kid of my age to understand the finer points of economics and trade? Honestly. Several years later Mike showed up at school one morning with a big plaster on his nose. He'd cut the tip of his nose off with a pair of scissors.

The neighbour across the road from my parent's house is the sales manager at a GM dealership in Oakville. To this day, he is a slimy salesman. His friends are slimy. My friend John and I offered to shovel some newly delivered gravel off of his driveway - we were 11 and it should have been quite obvious we were expecting a few bucks for the work. It was dreadfully hot in the sun. Once we were done, we stood expectantly before him. He asked us if we'd like a Pepsi. He noticed the disappointed looks on our faces and responded that since we had not arranged a verbal contract with him regarding payment he would not pay us anything. Nice, huh?